Last night when I arrived at BoB (my condo building), I got in the elevator and pressed "16". On the ride up, I got lost in my thoughts but snapped back when I heard the elevator "ding" letting me know I'd reached my destination. As soon as I got off the elevator, the familiar smell of ethnic food wafted up my nostrils. Home, sweet home.
My thoughts were as follows:
"Ahhhh, the joys of condo living. A little heavy on the curry tonight, don't you think? Oh, mother of pearl, it's getting stronger. It must be the couple who live on my side of the building. I hope it doesn't permeate my apartment. I will NOT sleep on curry scented sheets. God, I hate this place."
I turn the corner and begin walking down the corridor toward my apartment (holding my breath, of course).
"That's weird. I always noticed that fire extinguisher on the left but I never realized it's hung so close to that person's door. I'm usually quite observant - how did I miss that? I'm even more surprised that it hasn't set off my OCD until now. I should write a letter to management and ask them to center that better on the wall. Now it just looks stupid. God, I hate this place."
I'm almost at my apartment but right across the hall, my neighbor's door catches my eye.
"Hmmmm, odd. They put a thin metal frame around their door. I wonder why. Maybe it adds security by making it harder to break in? Omg, that guy is such a freak. Who would want to break into his apartment anyway. God, I hate this place."
Then I spin around to my door and...
"WHUCK?! There's a metal frame around MY door now too? Ugh, I guess they're installing them building-wide. It's hideous. And it looks...used. Couldn't they at least give me a new, or even properly refurbished, frame? I should write letter to the management and give them a piece of my mind. God, I hate this place."
Finally I go to unlock my door and...
"DOUBLE WHUCK?!?! They changed the face plate of my door lock?!?! How can they do that?? Does this mean they accessed my apartment without my consent??? They had to, otherwise how could they change the lock?? Well surely they didn't change the actual lock, just the face plate. I own this apartment. They can't just change my lock when I'm at work. Right?? Right! Let's just try the key here and.....WHUCK TIMES INFINITY?!?!?! NO!!!! THEY CHANGED MY MOTHERF*CKING LOCK?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? OH, MANAGEMENT IS SOOOOO GOING TO GET A LETTER ABOUT THIS!!!! THIS IS EFFING RIDICULOUS!!! GOD, I HAAAAATE THIS PLACE!!!!!!!!"
That's when I took a deep, curry filled breath and looked at the door which clearly read "1203", not "1603". I got off the elevator on the wrong floor. Just a few floors up, it still smelled like Indian food but the fire extinguisher was centered on the wall, there were no metal frames around the doors, and my key fit perfectly in the lock.
CooCoo CaChoo
Full speed ahead...
Monday, January 9, 2017
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Julia Child, I am not.
I believe that the world is separated into 2 simple categories: those who enjoying cooking, and people like me. Any dish which requires more than 10 minutes (of prepping AND cooking combined) and/or more than 2 ingredients, is not my cup of tea. Tea, on the other hand, I can make. As long as it's not that fancy kind of loose tea which needs to go through a special filter and steep for a certain amount of time.... But I digress.
A couple of months ago my microwave died a violent, fiery death and I've yet to replace it. Since then, I realized that I had seriously taken my dear microwave for granted. Most of my "recipes" read "peel back film to vent and cook on high for 3 minutes." How could I have not realized that mic-y was as essential to my kitchen as my fridge/freezer?! Well, my epiphany came the other morning while in the shower. I was already thinking about eating my mom's delicious black bean soup for dinner that night and I was stoked! But then my mind replayed the night before when I had to figure out how reheat mashed potatoes sans a microwave. I eventually made a little bowl out of aluminum foil and put the taters in my toaster oven which worked like a charm. But would that work with soup? My train of though went as follows:
"Ok, I just have to make a really sturdy aluminum foil bowl. Perhaps use 2 layers of foil. Maybe between the layers I would line up toothpicks to make a 'frame'. Would that be a fire hazard?"
Then, "DUH!!! How stupid am I? How come I didn't think of just putting the soup in a deep baking dish and putting that in the toaster oven?? Would baking the soup change the consistency of it though? Well, besides the makeshift aluminum bowl, I don't have any other option. Baking dish it is. Geeeeze, how do people who don't have microwaves ever heat up liquid? That's insane. Does everyone just buy lots of aluminum foil? What about in the olden days? How did those people heat up liquid?"
I gave it more thought and that's when it dawned on me.
I guess will NEVER be the next Julia Child...
A couple of months ago my microwave died a violent, fiery death and I've yet to replace it. Since then, I realized that I had seriously taken my dear microwave for granted. Most of my "recipes" read "peel back film to vent and cook on high for 3 minutes." How could I have not realized that mic-y was as essential to my kitchen as my fridge/freezer?! Well, my epiphany came the other morning while in the shower. I was already thinking about eating my mom's delicious black bean soup for dinner that night and I was stoked! But then my mind replayed the night before when I had to figure out how reheat mashed potatoes sans a microwave. I eventually made a little bowl out of aluminum foil and put the taters in my toaster oven which worked like a charm. But would that work with soup? My train of though went as follows:
"Ok, I just have to make a really sturdy aluminum foil bowl. Perhaps use 2 layers of foil. Maybe between the layers I would line up toothpicks to make a 'frame'. Would that be a fire hazard?"
Then, "DUH!!! How stupid am I? How come I didn't think of just putting the soup in a deep baking dish and putting that in the toaster oven?? Would baking the soup change the consistency of it though? Well, besides the makeshift aluminum bowl, I don't have any other option. Baking dish it is. Geeeeze, how do people who don't have microwaves ever heat up liquid? That's insane. Does everyone just buy lots of aluminum foil? What about in the olden days? How did those people heat up liquid?"
I gave it more thought and that's when it dawned on me.
I guess will NEVER be the next Julia Child...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)