Last night when I arrived at BoB (my condo building), I got in the elevator and pressed "16". On the ride up, I got lost in my thoughts but snapped back when I heard the elevator "ding" letting me know I'd reached my destination. As soon as I got off the elevator, the familiar smell of ethnic food wafted up my nostrils. Home, sweet home.
My thoughts were as follows:
"Ahhhh, the joys of condo living. A little heavy on the curry tonight, don't you think? Oh, mother of pearl, it's getting stronger. It must be the couple who live on my side of the building. I hope it doesn't permeate my apartment. I will NOT sleep on curry scented sheets. God, I hate this place."
I turn the corner and begin walking down the corridor toward my apartment (holding my breath, of course).
"That's weird. I always noticed that fire extinguisher on the left but I never realized it's hung so close to that person's door. I'm usually quite observant - how did I miss that? I'm even more surprised that it hasn't set off my OCD until now. I should write a letter to management and ask them to center that better on the wall. Now it just looks stupid. God, I hate this place."
I'm almost at my apartment but right across the hall, my neighbor's door catches my eye.
"Hmmmm, odd. They put a thin metal frame around their door. I wonder why. Maybe it adds security by making it harder to break in? Omg, that guy is such a freak. Who would want to break into his apartment anyway. God, I hate this place."
Then I spin around to my door and...
"WHUCK?! There's a metal frame around MY door now too? Ugh, I guess they're installing them building-wide. It's hideous. And it looks...used. Couldn't they at least give me a new, or even properly refurbished, frame? I should write letter to the management and give them a piece of my mind. God, I hate this place."
Finally I go to unlock my door and...
"DOUBLE WHUCK?!?! They changed the face plate of my door lock?!?! How can they do that?? Does this mean they accessed my apartment without my consent??? They had to, otherwise how could they change the lock?? Well surely they didn't change the actual lock, just the face plate. I own this apartment. They can't just change my lock when I'm at work. Right?? Right! Let's just try the key here and.....WHUCK TIMES INFINITY?!?!?! NO!!!! THEY CHANGED MY MOTHERF*CKING LOCK?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? OH, MANAGEMENT IS SOOOOO GOING TO GET A LETTER ABOUT THIS!!!! THIS IS EFFING RIDICULOUS!!! GOD, I HAAAAATE THIS PLACE!!!!!!!!"
That's when I took a deep, curry filled breath and looked at the door which clearly read "1203", not "1603". I got off the elevator on the wrong floor. Just a few floors up, it still smelled like Indian food but the fire extinguisher was centered on the wall, there were no metal frames around the doors, and my key fit perfectly in the lock.